Can It Be?

My morning phone call to Caleb's nurse came with a surprise of sorts. The secretary said that we are officially lifted from the RSV season. I asked if it was official this time. She said that she double checked and it is official. She also said if not, she would let us all in anyway. :) I guess she remembered me. Haha.

We decided not to rearrange our day to run down there. Trever had two jobs that he put off from the other days rearrangement. We needed to just go along with what was planned and get things done. It ended up not working out for us to go up there tonight. We wanted the girls to be happy and awake when we got there. Some were pretty worn out from the day as it was. I didn't want to push anything because of what happened last time. So tomorrow, we will try again. I hope they are all on the same page this time! I'm so excited for the girls to meet their brother!

I cleaned up around my room a little bt today. As much as I could. It gets tricky, cleaning, bending, kneeling etc with a catheter in. I decided that I was going to be happily catheterized so that when I am  de-catheterized,  ill be happy as well. John Bytheway said that you can't be happily married until you are happily single. I have always tried to live my life with that mentality, although I struggle with it. I often find myself saying, "Let me just get through this, and then I will..." Then i would find myself having something new to get through, just as soon as the old thing was over. i missed out on show much "life" that way.

I decided today, I am going to act as if it is out, and then adjust accordingly. I kept waiting to do very many things because it was such an inconvenience. Even though I felt like my incision was healed enough to do more than I was doing. So today I cleaned up my throne area in my room. I've spent many hours on my rocking chair lately. So the area around was a bit messy. I was even sleeping on it, to avoid catheter pinching. I still can't vacume, so I just used the vacume hose to clean the floor. I also cleaned the kitchen. At least the things that didn't require a bunch of bending or using the back and forth motions. I went on a nice walk and took the girls to a party at the park.

I am starting to feel better emotionally because of it. I felt like if I really wanted Caleb home, then I needed toproced it to myself. I needed to get to a place where I could take care of him day in and day
out. In all reality, he could be home before the catheter is out. So I need to get ready for him. I also want to spend longer days at the hospital with him. The more I am able to be with him, the better he will respond to feeding. Now that I am off my meds, I can start breast feeding again. I can give him massages before his feeds and hold him longer afterwards so that he doesn't spit it back up. ( He has been having some spit up episodes that set things back a little bit) All of these things, the nurses
can't do. Some of them, they try to do, but can't on a regular basis. Anyway... Bottom line... I am getting this baby home! Whatever it takes.

I am so ready for life to get back to normal. Don't worry, I won't over do it or push things to happen, that shouldn't. I just figure, that if I want life to be normal, then I need to start working towards that goal. I need to quit waiting around for life to just fall into place like I have no say in the matter. I need to start putting the pieces back together that I can control. Then the rest will fall into place. Now that I have given myself this little pep talk... Off to work I go!