EMDR and Airplanes

I was so incredibly blessed to be able to get back into see my counselor this week. He is so booked that I'm actually still not scheduled until the end of march. Ive been able to get in on appointments when there is a cancelation. My brother suggested I call first thing Monday morning just to check, and Im so glad that I did. Then while I was there today, they had another opening for tomorrow, so I took that too. 

Im thinking the Lord had a hand in my getting back to back days this week. We were able to work on some trauma therapy known as EMDR. Look it up... Amazing stuff. Essentially, when we are asleep we go into a rapid eye movement (rem) cycle. This is how our brain catalogs our life's situations. When we experience a traumatic moment, that train comes to a stop and our brain doesn't catalog it. So EMDR helps us create a rem cycle while awake so that we can get things moving again in that particular area. That is my limited knowledge of how it works anyway... And boy oh boy does it work. Ive been struggling this week with my one year anniversary coming up of delivery. I walked into his office today feeling, stressed and fearful. Ive been trying to suppress the thoughts and memories so that I could still function somewhat. The problem was, I was getting more and more stressed out. I went in, feeling sick to my stomach. My insides were wanting to spew out of me. Trever gave me a blessing and i was able to calm down and make it to the appointment. By the time my session was over, I wasn't afraid of Sat coming anymore. I was excited to spend it with my handsome boy. I felt liberated and free. Eventually ill be able to see it as just another day in my life. Ill remember it of course and Ill remember that I felt the fear etc... But ill be able to still live in the present without reverting back to the trauma and anxiety of it all. He does really well and teaching me to separate then and now. He is just an amazing man. He really knows his stuff. And its all logical treatment. Its not some psycho off the wall treatment that has no real medical backing. Just sayin. I feel so healthy emotionally when I leave his office. 

Now on to the airplane part of the post. My mom used to have a tradition that when we turned 12 she would take us up to the young womens meeting of General conference for our first time. I wanted to keep that tradition alive. They recently changed the minimum age to 8 now. So, Kenzie and I are headed to Salt Lake City in a few weeks. Im so super excited. This will be an amazing trip for both of us. We have lots of mommy and me time together. The whole weekend is going to be about her. And Im going to soak up every minute of it. She is so excited! It will be a good release time for us both. Well, im running on very little sleep, so im out. Nighty night.