Where Are We Now?

Kate asked me the other day to post how everything is with us. Where we are, what we are doing. Etc. I realized that I kind of stopped posting about me because I figured everyone was probably bored of my endless rambling. Also, since I am out of danger now...lets be honest, I'm just a plain Jane writing about every day life. The truth is, every day LIFE is what I fought so hard to be a part of 4 months ago. I literally fought for my life that horrifying day 4 months ago. I am so thankful to be alive and to live each day of my plain Jane life. Yeah life with 6 kids is anything but plain. Anywho...

I am recovering nicely. I have been cooking and baking again. I just started blogging again on my Food blog. It is so refreshing. The kitchen is my safe haven. I love to be at one with the pots and pans. The mixers, the oven, the food, etc. Although right now it's not quite as peaceful of a place because I need to go be one with my dirty dishes. Ick. I hate doing dishes. Yep mom, I still do!

Anyway, I have been so amazed at my ability to accomplish things. Yesterday I did 5 sit ups! Seriously, that is a big deal. I have been swimming a lot lately to help build muscle without straining them. I am still worried about things not being completely sealed off inside of me and getting a hernia. So I am taking it slow and steady. Pushing just a little bit more each day. I have been giving myself projects and goals to work towards to become stronger and better. Oh how I love to be "normal" again. Jenifer posted a picture on her Blog yesterday. It's the 11th picture down I believe. It's of her with all of her tubes and swollen beyond reason. I burst into tears. For her and for me. That is the one image that my sweet husband has ingrained in his head, (of me at that point) and its the one image that I never saw. I always wished he took a picture of me at that stage, so I could see what I was actually going through that night. It was horrifying but I don't remember how or why very much. Seeing her lying there terrified me. I asked Trever if that is what I looked like. He said yep, except. Had that blue tube down my throat. I cringe just thinking about it! He also said that instead of being jaundice, I was super pale. Gray instead of yellow. They had only a few bags of blood on hold for me and ended up needing to give me more, then I needed even more a few days later. I am so thankful that Dr. Lutter came in and saw me looking like a ghost a few days later, and said he wanted to transfuse me again. He is an inspired man!

Caleb is doing fabulous. His heart and lungs seem to be doing well. His reflux and constipation are still pretty bad. We are learning that he has to be held very still for at lest a half hour after each feed. We have to lay him down in his chair and let him be. If we hold him, we can not move at all or we get that refreshing projectile vomit of his entire bottle all over us. Ick! No kidding. It happens more frequently when he is "backed up" in the plumbing department. So sad. We have him on a mild stool softener that seems to help a little bit. He also has to be on a preemie formula still. It's very basic and has extra nutrients in it that he missed out on in utero. It's super expensive and only comes in the small can size. Anything for my little guy though. He is the love of my life. He sees and hears me and just starts beaming. Sometimes laughing! Oh how I love that little boy. He melts my heart! Oh and he was almost 10 lbs last month when we went to the dr.my little 3 lb baby is growing up! I bet he is at least 11 lbs now. He cluster feeds a couple of hours before bedtime and then sleeps a good 6-8 hours most nights. Sleeping baby = happy mommy!

My other kids are doing really well. After 4 long months of adjusting and getting reacquainted, we are back into our old routine as if we haven't skipped a beat. They are so secure now, again. I worried how the long months would effect them. They are doing awesome. That is the cool thing about an infinite atonement. It even heals those effected my grief, sorrow, instability etc. I am so thankful for my savior for making that whole, in my life and theirs.

We are loving our time together this summer. Swimming lessons, (thanks to an angel friend) play dates, family outings and snuggles. I don't want it to end. I love life right now! We traded in our vehicle for a 12 passenger van. Now we can legally drive as a family with room to spare. The best part is... We were very blessed to find this particular van because we traded it straight across. No payments. Dave Ramsey would be proud. We actually made a couple hundred dollars on the deal because they forgot a couple of the upgrades they promised us. So they wrote a check for us to be able to get them done. What a blessing that all was.

My husband is back to work and loving it. He has revamped his business and is only doing design and installations now. He dropped the maintain acne side of it all. Things are moving so much better. We really feel like we are heading the right direction now. We have been very blessed with jobs. People are so kind and generous to us.

My kids are writing poems for a poetry contest that grandma is doing. Kaylee my 3 year old just said. I love my mommy, she likes to go potty... Bwahahahaha. I sure do! I am so grateful to go pee without a catheter! I still go quite frequently because of an infection and smaller bladder, but it's stretching and the antibiotics is working. Insert happy dance and say.. Yay for potty time!

Life is beautiful right now. Stresses beyond reason for us, but I have a new perspective on life. I am so thankful to be here to live through them. We got through heck and back. These things are nothing in comparison. I am especially thankful for my life as I see amazing women go through their Accreta experiences. Even after surgery, I never grasped how fragile my life was. I was at deaths door. I am so thankful to be alive. My story fails in comparison to Jenifers though.

Jenifer came home last night! Jody delivered a couple of days ago and did awesome! Baby is struggling a little bit with his breathing. Kate is on deck in just a couple of weeks. I love and adore these women. They are my heros. They are warriors, fighting each day for their lives and for their family. Please keep them in your prayers as you think about who needs gods hand in their lives.they all have a long rough road ahead of them. The good news is, they are alive! Bless you all. God is good. Xoxo