Walking

Recovery has been anything but easy. Or quick for that matter. As hard as it has been, I'm still just thankful to be alive. Being on bed rest and/or recovery rest for 6 months has given me a new look on life. I am one that hates to exercise and do anything well, productive. I dabble in new things to try to keep myself from being lazy, because I know that is my weakness. After being limited on what I can do, I have found new desire to try new things and be the new me.

I still have to be super careful for the next 3-6 months in my activity so that I avoid any other complications. I woke up this morning for Caleb's feeding. I was super tired, but my dear child who fell off the bed in the middle of the night, was wide awake. She didn't want to go back to bed, so I got up and got her breakfast. Just call me super mom! (I hate mornings!)

Anyway, since I was up, I decided to avoid my strong desire to climb back into my nice soft bed and go take a shower. After which, I decided to go on a walk. I should have done it the other way around, but hey... At least I am up before nine and actually doing something right? Part of the recovery process for me and I am sure for many others... Is the emotional battle. It is very easy to get depressed when you are laying around playing solitaire for hours to pass the time. Who me... No never. I play free cell instead. Hehe. I've allowed myself to play and be distracted in order to force myself to stay put and recover without pushing myself to a dangerous point.

As someone who has felt with anxiety and depression my whole life, I have found a few things that really help to shake it away. I'm not apposed to medication, I have used it when needed... I really feel like I have avoided more need for medication by doing these things

Get as much sunlight as possible.  I get migraines from squinting too much, when I have sun exposure. So I wear ridiculously huge sunglasses to shield my eyes. I try to get to the park or do what I did this morning, and walk. Some days, well, most days... It's all I can do to just open the blinds. Any way that is possible... Get some sun in your life. It's really easy when you are depressed to close the blinds, curl up on the couch to a movie and let the day slip away.

Pray like crazy! When I feel myself getting depressed, or my anxiety is on the rise, I pray for peace and comfort. It always helps

Listen to happy songs. Sometimes church music for me, is too solem. I need up beat songs that I can sing and dance to. You know those ones that you can't help but move or belt out the words? Yeah, those.

Pamper yourself. If I'm ever feeling un-woman-like, I like to do a little something for myself. Even if it is just to go take a shower and put on some make up. Or i also like to paint my toes, or go to walmart and get the cheap press on nails and give myself a manicure. (believe it or not, I have gotten more copliments on those than the "real" fake nails. There are many days where I have to force myself to do these things, they don't come easy sometimes. I always feel better when I do though.

Serve others. My mom taught me that when you are feeling down, the best way to pull out of it, is to serve others. There are times when I need to take care of myself a little bit first, so that I feel strong enough to reach out to others, but it really is good medicine. It has been hard these days to see so many friends who need held and not be able to give it. I have tried to still do what I can. Usually it's just a quick text or phone call, or even Facebook message. Anything I can do, to forget myself and go to work. It really helps pull me out of things.

Find a hobby. I have played around with quite a few things the past few years. It has been fun and invigorating, to try new things.

Snuggle a baby, a child or your spouse. It's been said that it takes at least 4 hugs a day to survive, and at least 12 to thrive.

Re-train your thoughts. Your thoughts play a huge role in the way you are feeling. When my anxiety is high, like it has been the past few days... I find myself worried about the horrible, scary world that we live in. I avoid the news, for this reason. I just can't handle it. Face book has even had lots of downer info lately, so I am going to need to step away from it for a while. People with anxiety, have a hard time seeing the real picture, it's all or nothing with us sometimes. The government makes a bad decision... So therefore the world is not safe and we are going to all be shot, if we so much as answer the door. To re train your thought, it's crucial to find good things about yourself and the world around you. Yesterday I was in Costco and saw a Costco worker (I think he was actually the manager) helping a blind man do his shopping. It was the sweetest thing ever. Find those things, search them out. Then something that I have been working on... Is tell someone about it. Preferably that person. It is very hard for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger. Even if its to say "wow, that was really neat what you just did".  So I forced myself to tell him that I thought that was really neat and a big deal that he would take such good care of this man. Find the good, and acknowledge it.

Be thankful. I have tried really hard to show more gratitude in my life. When you are depressed, you turn inward and become selfish. The world is outta get you type stuff. When you focus on what you do have, it turns you outward. Sometimes you have to start with the tiniest thing to get the ball rolling, but it will eventually change your thoughts to the better. One thing I like to try, is to suck on a jolly rancher while I say my prayers. As long as that jolly rancher is in your mouth (no biting it to make it go away faster) keep finding things you are thankful for. Gratitude prayers really help.

Haha, I just realized, this is my longest post ever! And all I was wanting to tell you is that I was able to get up and walk today.my first exercise walk since surgery. It felt so good, even though it was tough to even make it around the block. It really helped me emotionally though, which led into my long list of things. These are things that I work on, on a regular basis to keep me in a good place. Those who struggle with anxiety and depression know that it is a constant battle. It's something you have to work at every day. Even on medication... If you stop taking it... Things go right back to the beginning.